All I wanted were some new sneakers..

      So I’m walking through the St.Louis outlets after buying some new sneakers and it’s an unusually beautiful day and I see a lot of couples out. I exit the shoe store and I find myself behind a couple walking arm in arm. Then I notice the man’s shifty body language and I realized he was attempting a covert low key “date fart”. So I walk into the passing lane and as soon as I am next to them, I hear it. He failed his mission and blew his cover by letting out the loudest wet fart I have heard since I was at the elephant exhibit at the zoo. A terrifying silence reigns, and I knew what I had to do.    “GOT ‘EM” I shouted, his date looks at me in disgust, she steers him in a new walking direction. He turns and looks back at me, Manly tear in his eye. “Thank You,” is what his smile says. I don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me. But he will never forget the day I took one for the team. I am Ray Roberson, and I leave no bro behind, I will make sure you save face in front of your true love.


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