I miss my best friend.
I miss how goofy she was and making her laugh.
I miss the funny voices she made when she talked to her pets.
I even miss our random disagreements. I believe now that is better to be annoyed by someone that cares for you than to have no one there to care for.
When something good happens I wish I could share it with her. And when times are tough I wish I could have her there to eat comfort food with.
When we fought, we were stubborn. When we worked together, we were the same mind.
She was unsure of self at times but I always knew she had great strength in her but I didn’t realize how much I had to learn till later.
There were still phases of growth we had to achieve. Things got rough. We both felt stuck. Happiness would sometimes get mixed with bitterness. Unfortunately at that time we didn’t quite know how to deal that together. There were still chapters on life that we needed to studied. So we separated.
Then the most remarkable thing happened. We grew. We learned new things about the world. We learned new things about ourselves. We found success, we found new loves, we found a life.
Life went on.
On the outside I am fine. Yet on the inside I became restless, I keep myself busy. I bury myself in my work and my successes because when I am still, my mind races and wonders about- her.
So I say prayers, and I keep my distance and send my love from afar. Because as much as I want to be near, it’s not my place. When you truly love some we love them as they are. Not how we want them to be, not how they used to be, not how we perceive them to be, but as they are. love isn’t about seeking what you want. It’s waking up in someone’s life and asking “How can I serve?”
This is to my best friend.
We served each other well.